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Finding Beauty..

Whilst living with uncertainty and anxiety...

3 November 2020

 

It’s been a while since I posted anything and I feel that now is the right time to pick this up and run with it once again.

Why have I been so quiet? (unlike me I know!) Honestly? I think I lost my own ‘mojo’ for a while, even though I have been giving beginners meditation classes on Zoom to help people with their own anxiety, I have at times been peddling away under water myself!

This horrible period in our lives has cast  a massive dark shadow over all of us causing us to feel deep fear from an unseen enemy, making us feel very anxious, uncertain and at times deeply unhappy.

None of us is immune; either to the actual Covid 19 virus itself or to its connotations and implications, being similar to Russian Roulette in nature: an unknown entity with an unknowable outcome. We can’t predict  how any of this is going to pan out, frankly, I find no comfort in statistics.

As humans, I think we like to know things. A case of ‘better the devil you know’ rather than being caught between the said ‘devil and the deep blue sea’…… if you know what you are dealing with or facing, you can to some degree make a plan, but this silent, stealthy and vicious virus requires us to dodge bullets from all directions, at the same time taking away our rational and as it turns out our precious freedom, replacing those human traits and values with anxiety, uncertainty, fear and resulting depression.

Despite my daily health and wellbeing practices I have not escaped these feelings of helplessness, sadness and anxiety myself. Apart from the obvious social restrictions and distancing etc my most pressing source of sadness is that I cannot physically fly to the other side of the world to see my beautiful precious daughter and her equally beautiful and precious little family; my grandchildren….who are growing up without me. I am however, obviously fortunate that if I get up at some ungodly hour I can tell them stories on FaceTime! So they do know what I look  and sound like…….(I also make sure that I put on my makeup and get dressed so I don’t frighten them!! Ha ha!!)

In order to walk my own talk, I needed to work out a way of life that elevated me and raised my vibration, partly to help adapt to the new way of life but to keep myself healthy. Depression, sadness, anxiety and any negative emotion/vibe erodes the immune system. As mind body and soul are interwoven and inter-dependent, each one needs to be functioning optimally at all levels. I know it’s easier said than done and I do not make light of the fact a certain amount of effort is required to make this investment in yourself but of course it is worth it and who else is going to do it for you if you don’t do it yourself?!

Healthy eating and exercise, with a meditation practice of some sort on a daily basis is invaluable, but so is having an ‘attitude of gratitude’ and an awareness of beauty in all things.

I set myself a challenge of finding and photographing something every single day the I could post on Instagram under the working title of ‘Finding Beauty’. (Sadly that handle is taken, so I still use Iambluebellsays)

Once you start looking outside of your mind, you realise that there is beauty in the most unexpected places. It can be as simple and as obvious as a butterfly or a flower, it doesn’t matter, the point for me is to always look for the beauty in the places you least expect to find it. This simple little practice for me has increased my gratitude for the planet on which I live and given me inner strength and a sense of joy when I find the beauty! I don’t care how many ‘likes’ I get or not on my posts, but of course when someone ‘likes’ a photo hopefully it is because they can see the beauty too. I am not a photographer by any stretch of the imagination but my little old fashioned iPhone 6 and I will continue on this personal challenge until ….I don’t know when!

 

 

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